For over a month now I have been having nightmares in which I am vomiting through the whole thing no matter what is going on. I never get my mouth clear of the foul things I am vomiting and have to carry one conversations in bits and pieces to pause to vomit. These are long, complex, dreams and almost always include family and friends who I no longer associate with. Tonight I got out of bed and entered "dreams, vomit, analysis" in my browser and was amazed to actually have a few answers pop up. The Internet is truly an incredible thing!!
The first interpretation said, "To dream that you are vomiting, indicates that you need to reject or discard an aspect of your life that is revolting. There are some emotions or concepts that you need to confront and then let go."
I can't think of anything in my life that is revolting but maybe there are things I need to reject or let go of. If I go about this like the references I found suggest, then I would look at the other things and people in the dream for a clue and, as I said, the people gone from my life are always in these dreams.
These people in my dreams are all of the family I have besides my own children and grandchildren and any friends I had growing up in Texas. Four years ago my brother and I had a disagreement while I was trying to recover from a terrible divorce and my brother, Mike, decided I was dangerously insane if not an evil Witch. He is an extremely paranoid person; one of those who go and recheck the locks on their doors ten times a night redoing the locks who whispers stories to you about hit men who have sought him and the likes. He is the owner of a small fireproofing company and I guess people want his formula so badly they will kill him yet he can't figure out a way to market it to make any kind of money. His stocks were at thirty cents a share last I looked.
Well, Mike told everyone in my wacky family about me being insane and dangerous and the next thing I knew no one would take any of my calls and I haven't spoken to a soul in our extended family since after being very close to them all all of my life. Closer than Mike in most cases but you've got to know Mike to understand how this could happen. He has a way of creating what I call Mikelites, followers, who are as sure as he is of his greatness in all aspects. I have found that people either become a Mikelite or just can't stand him and believe him to be false and delusional. I went from being a Mikelite to knowing he is extremely delusional the night we argued. It was truly an experience of the scales falling from my eyes and seeing for the first time that he was really nobody special in any way. He has a very high IQ but it is sadly offset by the outrageous things he believes and stories he tells.
I have gone through great grief over losing my family and then anger that they would turn from me without even speaking to me or asking about the things Mike was saying and I like to think I have simply washed my hands of them all but then there they are in these nightmares indicating they are all still here. In the dreams they always still love me and I can feel it so strongly I don't want to wake up even though I am vomiting and likely being shot at or attacked by monsters in the dream, too.
Another reference on vomiting in dreams says, "This dream may be an expression of your desire to be rid of feelings that cause you upset."
So how do I purge myself of the feeling of wishing these people still loved me? I love them in return in these dreams and in the deep recesses of my heart where I have been trying to kill them as effectively as they have all killed me off. How do I do this? I'd like to think that I am doing it right now in some part by getting up and writing this down at two in the morning. I don't know how much I believe in this dream analysis stuff but I do know I am getting tired of dreaming I am vomiting all night and I'm tired of spending this much time with people who never want to see me again.
I am happy with the family life that I do have left to me. My children are very loving and supportive and I have a wonderful relationship with my grandchildren. My oldest granddaughter and I have a bond that takes my breath away sometimes it is that close. I have no clue why I would seek any more in my dreams. I truly believe that my family have cheated themselves out of knowing some very wonderful people as they have had to cut out my children and grandchildren with me. It is truly their loss more than mine!
The first interpretation said, "To dream that you are vomiting, indicates that you need to reject or discard an aspect of your life that is revolting. There are some emotions or concepts that you need to confront and then let go."
I can't think of anything in my life that is revolting but maybe there are things I need to reject or let go of. If I go about this like the references I found suggest, then I would look at the other things and people in the dream for a clue and, as I said, the people gone from my life are always in these dreams.
These people in my dreams are all of the family I have besides my own children and grandchildren and any friends I had growing up in Texas. Four years ago my brother and I had a disagreement while I was trying to recover from a terrible divorce and my brother, Mike, decided I was dangerously insane if not an evil Witch. He is an extremely paranoid person; one of those who go and recheck the locks on their doors ten times a night redoing the locks who whispers stories to you about hit men who have sought him and the likes. He is the owner of a small fireproofing company and I guess people want his formula so badly they will kill him yet he can't figure out a way to market it to make any kind of money. His stocks were at thirty cents a share last I looked.
Well, Mike told everyone in my wacky family about me being insane and dangerous and the next thing I knew no one would take any of my calls and I haven't spoken to a soul in our extended family since after being very close to them all all of my life. Closer than Mike in most cases but you've got to know Mike to understand how this could happen. He has a way of creating what I call Mikelites, followers, who are as sure as he is of his greatness in all aspects. I have found that people either become a Mikelite or just can't stand him and believe him to be false and delusional. I went from being a Mikelite to knowing he is extremely delusional the night we argued. It was truly an experience of the scales falling from my eyes and seeing for the first time that he was really nobody special in any way. He has a very high IQ but it is sadly offset by the outrageous things he believes and stories he tells.
I have gone through great grief over losing my family and then anger that they would turn from me without even speaking to me or asking about the things Mike was saying and I like to think I have simply washed my hands of them all but then there they are in these nightmares indicating they are all still here. In the dreams they always still love me and I can feel it so strongly I don't want to wake up even though I am vomiting and likely being shot at or attacked by monsters in the dream, too.
Another reference on vomiting in dreams says, "This dream may be an expression of your desire to be rid of feelings that cause you upset."
So how do I purge myself of the feeling of wishing these people still loved me? I love them in return in these dreams and in the deep recesses of my heart where I have been trying to kill them as effectively as they have all killed me off. How do I do this? I'd like to think that I am doing it right now in some part by getting up and writing this down at two in the morning. I don't know how much I believe in this dream analysis stuff but I do know I am getting tired of dreaming I am vomiting all night and I'm tired of spending this much time with people who never want to see me again.
I am happy with the family life that I do have left to me. My children are very loving and supportive and I have a wonderful relationship with my grandchildren. My oldest granddaughter and I have a bond that takes my breath away sometimes it is that close. I have no clue why I would seek any more in my dreams. I truly believe that my family have cheated themselves out of knowing some very wonderful people as they have had to cut out my children and grandchildren with me. It is truly their loss more than mine!
So, here's to being done vomiting them up every night and I pray I can bury them with the past they belong to. I'm ready to get some real sleep and tired of seeing their faces every night!
2 comments:
Hi Rhoda...
I think this vomiting might be a GOOD sign. You are working on purging yourself of that which you have taken in that has not nourished you, that in fact has been toxic to you. Vomiting is a rapid release, and often leaves people feeling better afterwards.
So, I say CONGRATULATIONS... you may be purifying through puking. And, I'd guess it's more pleasant to do it symbolically in your dreams than to be actually doing it during your waking hours! And keep in mind that sometimes we need to release what we are holding on to before we are able to accept more into our lives. So, go ahead, puke out all the old bad stuff, and prepare yourself to receive the new GOOD stuff.
This is a long time in coming but Thank You. I stopped writing here because the nightmare stopped and I believe 100% it was because of the support I received from people like you. Especially yours. ❤
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