I swore way back in about 1986 that I would never fall in love with another animal. I had a cat then named Dusty that had grabbed my heart at first sight and I was totally devastated for months after losing him. I was living on a farm in Iowa when he just disappeared one day. I called for him every night for almost a month while going through the small town phone book calling everyone in it looking for him. Being in a farming community, I reached a lot of farmers who couldn't understand being so upset about a lost cat. Many offered me one of the dozens they had living in barns and sheds on their farms. I refused all offers and cried every night for my Dusty and then swore to never get so attached to another animal so my heart couldn't be broken like that ever again.
I grew fond of other animals that other people in my family had. My children had pets and I loved them all and helped care for them but never let them completely into my heart where I could be devastated when they were lost to us. My youngest daughter had a dog named Scotty who came very close. When he was hit by a car and had to be put to sleep I cried for several days but my heart break wasn't as deep and was partly for the loss to the children. We had two farm dogs that had to be given away when we moved to the city and I grieved their loss but again, nothing like the pain of losing Dusty. My husband had a cat named Shadow who came the closest to getting inside of my heart. He was a beautiful dark gray cat who was one of those cats who seemed more human than feline. He loved Jeremy with all his heart. Maybe that is what helped me to keep from totally falling in love with him and when he died a horrible death I cried long and hard but, again, a lot of the tears were for my heartbroken husband's loss.
Then I met Alicia. I wanted a cat to keep the mice out of our new home in Omaha and my daughter told me about a litter that a friend of hers had so Jeremy and I went over there to pick one out. There were cats and kittens everywhere as the woman was a big time cat lover and couldn't afford to spay her pets and then couldn't bare to part with any kittens. When I walked in I immediately spotted a tiny kitten sleeping in a laundry basket by their couch. We talked to the couple and they told us about their love for their kitties and how they couldn't stand giving them away but knew they had to start letting some of them go and then as we talked to them they came around to being ready to share their kitties with us because they liked us and felt we would be good parents for a kitten. I picked up the little sleepy one in the basket and the husband said that she was a special kitten because she had been born in the same birth sack with another kitten and that the two of them were still very close and seldom apart. Then sure enough, another kitten almost identical to her walked up to us and Jeremy picked her up. We looked at each other and smiled and said that we would like to take both of them. They were thrilled that the kittens wouldn't be separated and they gave us litter and food to get them started even though they seemed poorer than us and we took our new babies home. After watching them tumble and play for several hours we finally decided on names for them, naming them Alicia and Katrina, after two hurricanes well known to us. Katrina, everyone in the country will remember as a hurricane that destroyed much of Louisiana, and we had both lived through hurricane Alicia in Texas.
We loved and nurtured the kittens and they grew into cats as kittens tend to do and I was maintaining my little locked space to my heart just fine until one day when I was petting Alicia and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. It took me a while to realize that it was that rusted shut door slowly creaking open causing the twinges of pain. I kept petting her and the door sprang open and so did the tear floodgate but this time with joy. I am deeply in love again and I love her like my own child and I love that she loves me the same. She comes to me to be pet and then for a place to sleep. If she can't find a comfortable spot on top of me she will sleep up against me and I sleep loving her warmth and her purring next to me. Alicia seemed to know she was mine from the first minute and I only regret now that I didn't let her into my heart immediately so I would have those first few weeks with her being in love, too! I love Katrina but still have a bit of space between her and me. She is Jeremy's and a more aloof cat from the beginning although I expect Jeremy to get closer and closer to her.
Alicia is totally the new love of my life. I am disables and spend a lot of time in bed and she seems to know when I need her the most and is always there to comfort me and get me through the worst of the pain I go through every day and night. She does the dance winding through my legs while I sit here typing until I lift her into my lap where she purrs and waits for my hands to be free to pet her.
I'm in love again and thrilled to be in love with my sweet Alicia. I can't believe I locked my heart shut for twenty years to such a wonderful experience! I know now, of all things, we should never ever lock our hearts to love. There is nothing greater in life than love . :-)
I grew fond of other animals that other people in my family had. My children had pets and I loved them all and helped care for them but never let them completely into my heart where I could be devastated when they were lost to us. My youngest daughter had a dog named Scotty who came very close. When he was hit by a car and had to be put to sleep I cried for several days but my heart break wasn't as deep and was partly for the loss to the children. We had two farm dogs that had to be given away when we moved to the city and I grieved their loss but again, nothing like the pain of losing Dusty. My husband had a cat named Shadow who came the closest to getting inside of my heart. He was a beautiful dark gray cat who was one of those cats who seemed more human than feline. He loved Jeremy with all his heart. Maybe that is what helped me to keep from totally falling in love with him and when he died a horrible death I cried long and hard but, again, a lot of the tears were for my heartbroken husband's loss.
Then I met Alicia. I wanted a cat to keep the mice out of our new home in Omaha and my daughter told me about a litter that a friend of hers had so Jeremy and I went over there to pick one out. There were cats and kittens everywhere as the woman was a big time cat lover and couldn't afford to spay her pets and then couldn't bare to part with any kittens. When I walked in I immediately spotted a tiny kitten sleeping in a laundry basket by their couch. We talked to the couple and they told us about their love for their kitties and how they couldn't stand giving them away but knew they had to start letting some of them go and then as we talked to them they came around to being ready to share their kitties with us because they liked us and felt we would be good parents for a kitten. I picked up the little sleepy one in the basket and the husband said that she was a special kitten because she had been born in the same birth sack with another kitten and that the two of them were still very close and seldom apart. Then sure enough, another kitten almost identical to her walked up to us and Jeremy picked her up. We looked at each other and smiled and said that we would like to take both of them. They were thrilled that the kittens wouldn't be separated and they gave us litter and food to get them started even though they seemed poorer than us and we took our new babies home. After watching them tumble and play for several hours we finally decided on names for them, naming them Alicia and Katrina, after two hurricanes well known to us. Katrina, everyone in the country will remember as a hurricane that destroyed much of Louisiana, and we had both lived through hurricane Alicia in Texas.
We loved and nurtured the kittens and they grew into cats as kittens tend to do and I was maintaining my little locked space to my heart just fine until one day when I was petting Alicia and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. It took me a while to realize that it was that rusted shut door slowly creaking open causing the twinges of pain. I kept petting her and the door sprang open and so did the tear floodgate but this time with joy. I am deeply in love again and I love her like my own child and I love that she loves me the same. She comes to me to be pet and then for a place to sleep. If she can't find a comfortable spot on top of me she will sleep up against me and I sleep loving her warmth and her purring next to me. Alicia seemed to know she was mine from the first minute and I only regret now that I didn't let her into my heart immediately so I would have those first few weeks with her being in love, too! I love Katrina but still have a bit of space between her and me. She is Jeremy's and a more aloof cat from the beginning although I expect Jeremy to get closer and closer to her.
Alicia is totally the new love of my life. I am disables and spend a lot of time in bed and she seems to know when I need her the most and is always there to comfort me and get me through the worst of the pain I go through every day and night. She does the dance winding through my legs while I sit here typing until I lift her into my lap where she purrs and waits for my hands to be free to pet her.
I'm in love again and thrilled to be in love with my sweet Alicia. I can't believe I locked my heart shut for twenty years to such a wonderful experience! I know now, of all things, we should never ever lock our hearts to love. There is nothing greater in life than love . :-)
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