Worst of me

....that I still remember.  

The worst thing I can think of right now was hitting Jami when she was 14. I think it was 3 times in the face so hard her cheek bled. Horrific. Yes, we were al living under the stress of discovering about Oran. Yes I reported myself for child abuse. No, nothing could make it better. I can't even stand to look into Jami's mind and heart when this happened. No I could never "make it up" to her. I damaged my damaged daughter. Unexcusable. 

Freshman year of high school I lead a group to torture and beat a girl who no one really liked and I was told she was talking bad about me. Heard it, didn't even know for sure. It was awful. 

I slapped Jess when she was about 15. She had been on a wild rebellion and I was sure in the moment that she had called me a whore, maybe she did. She hated me, had hated me for years and would continue for years. I still don't understand Why. If there is a Why. I just know that slapping her was WRONG. 

I never thought I could be, act, That Wrong. 

Sorrily, i defended both actions at the time. I never said they were right, only that they were somehow provoked. The fact that they were children leaves No Justification.